50 years old!!! I saw it coming, knew it was not much different than 49, yet here I am contemplating where I have been and what comes next. Had a huge steak dinner and watched "The Hobbit" in 3D with Vivian. Vivian is teaching an online class along with her job so is quite busy. I offered to bake my cake and she wouldn't let me. I truly do not mind helping. She opted for buying an ice cream cake. I do like ice cream.

Vivian got me a good bottle of rum for my birthday to go along with the aforementioned movie. It was a very nice evening. We do fit well together.

I think the last drink I had was with Steve and Linda last year as they headed south on Yesterday's Dream.     Turns out I still finish off about half a bottle in 4 drinks without catching a noticeable buzz. I wonder if the strong pain pills I was on for so long have something to do with that.
  Whatever....I still enjoy a nice rum. The magazine was the last of a subscription I got for my 49th birthday from Vivian.

Vivian took me to the "TOURIST" part of town before my birthday to have a look. We went to the Gay Dolphin(gift shop) and rode the skywheel. It was interesting seeing touristville but it was after the season so was not crowded.

Got this picture online.

 Vivian bought me a piece of cystine for my collection

 Looking north and south from skywheel

The rest were taken by Vivian. Finished up with an ice cream cone and by then my back hurt enough I needed to be somewhere else. I made the mistake of wearing jeans. Jeans are too binding for me. It hurts my back to move around in them. Bending, whatever. Just part of my life.

  So as I type this 5 days after the big birthday. The foremost thought is about the decade that was pretty much lost to a back injury. It should have been my most productive years and set me up well for my 50's and 60's. No sense crying over spilled milk. Vivian has asked me why I am not angry about it all. Should I be? I had a stretch in there where being mad was the only emotion I could muster. Intense pain does not make you feel giddy. I never had much to smile about.
  I remember a short time after getting hurt where I almost panicked about the level of pain and knowing it may not ever go away. I could feel myself losing it and pulled myself back from the edge.

 I never allowed myself to go there again.

I was single for so many years before I got hurt that I was truly my own  center. Self centered? Good chance of that. I cared what happened to others but I moved around a lot so I had mostly strangers in my daily life for the lions share of 20 years. Being hurt like I was forced me to live with myself and be truly alone for the first time in my life. I came out of it with a deeper sense of caring for others than I had ever known. I also realize that I do not have time for pretentious behavior. I am who I am. I like and dislike for my own reasons. I truly do not care what path others may walk, I walk my own.

I have always leaned this way. I am still true to myself, but lots of time in pain and solitude with the only activity I could really enjoy being deep thought, really brought who I am into sharp focus.

  So what does this contemplation have to do with Mary Lee and my future??? Why ask me? Just kidding!  My future is wide open. The boating is coming. Working? I am confident I will find the right path. I am happier now than I have been in a long time.

All the projects? I realize I need to streamline and quit spreading myself so thin. That is going to be my main focus for the coming year. Yet, even as I think it. I have upgrades to do for Vivian and Mary Lee. Vivian does not require them but her home is in an area that is really building fast. People would rather buy brand new instead of pay the same price for used. Upgrades will make the difference when she gets ready to sell. There is a year or so until that point and anything can happen. I will do what I can. Mary Lee's upgrades are fairly straight-forward. I know what I am going to do and how. Figuring that out was the hard part.

Last but not least.

I finally get to use my cuckoo clock again. In over a week it has not lost any time. It did take a few days to adjust it. I understand most people are not as anal about adjusting the pendulum as I am and just accept the fact that their clock does not keep time well. This is the large size cuckoo clock. When I took it in to get it cleaned, I was told it was easily a hundred years old. We are enjoying it.